‘Twas the night before Thanksgiving, when all thro’ the town,
All the creatures were stirring, even the clowns;
The beer specials were all posted by the bar with care,
In hopes that old friends would soon be there;
The bartenders were settled all snug in their posts,
With visions of big tip jars they boast;
And mama in her dress, and I in my fresh gear,
Had just settled down for a nice cold beer,
When out on the street, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Away to the bar window I flew like a flash,
With my beer in hand, trying not to splash;
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen drunkards,
Gave the lustre as though they were hunkered;
When, what to wandering eyes should appear,
But a cop car with lights flashing through my beer;
With an aggressive young police officer, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment this must be a lick;
More rapid than a breathalyzer, the field sobriety test came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called him by name;
Heel to Toe and 10 steps forward!
Count aloud and keep moving onward!
To the top of your nose, stand on one leg!
I looked at the bar tender to check the keg.
Like a wild hurricane the officer made him blow,
Then the breathalyzer began to glow;
Back to his car the officer flew,
Only to return, and another attempt he blew;
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the officer’s hood,
The slam of a body, while in the bar I stood;
As I drew from my hand, another sip,
The officer made sure he had a nice tight grip;
He was dressed in all blues, from his head to his foot,
Always checking to see if drunk drivers are afoot;
With a gun, cuff’s and flashlight around his waist,
He was sure to not forget the mace;
The drunk driver he cuffed,
And in the police cruiser, was stuffed;
Miranda rights were read,
As the officer was careful with his head.
In the bar we went back to our beers,
With so many friends we haven’t seen in years.
An Uber we called, and safely rode out of sight,
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!
The night before Thanksgiving is always a big night to go out to the bars and reconnect with old friends. If you are going out tonight, please be safe and do not drink and drive.